“When you know better you, you do better.” Although a popular cliche’, what exactly does it mean?
People are roaming through life, knowing what’s right due to several break-ups, childish mistakes, broken promises, and constant disappointments. While others have only encountered normal changes which leave them without any other choice but to… “do better”.
Plenty of times I have known better, yet, all I did was continue to know and do nothing about it. This caused immeasurable set-backs for me. Ultimately throwing me off course and keeping me in painful situationships that were past due for being out of my life.
Now, deep into my fed-up stage, I can confidently say, “I KNOW BETTER”! I don’t need another lesson in repeated situations I’ve ignored. Nor do I need the pain of consequences I should have seen coming.
So now what?
Well, now that I know better, I’m going to do better. And here’s how:
Believe Red Flags
Red flags have a way of looking like green lights to keep going along with BS. Especially when you are happy, open, and have enough energy to go around. However, constantly ignoring warning signs can turn into unhappiness and isolation, leaving you completely depleted.
No more will I wait until I am empty to realize that red flags aren’t fulfilling. Maya Angelou would suggest that when people show you who they are to believe them. Old sayings harp that if it’s too good to be true it probably is. I’d say, don’t give multiple chances to people, places, or things to disappoint you.
No longer feel the need to feel like your standards are too high or you’re a cynic for choosing your intuition. If the situation, place, or person doesn’t feel right initially, leave and DON’T LOOK BACK!
If you just so happen to be the type of person to give things a second chance, okay. But I beg that you don’t give more than two chances for anything or anyone to show their true colors.
Believe consistency, respect, and vibes.
Believe in Me at all Cost
Tough times either make tough people or convince tough people that they are incapable or unworthy. 2020 is a prime example of tough times playing mind games on strong people. This year has made many people change their minds about the most important person in their lives… themselves.
Why is it that when people encounter too much (or not enough of what they want) they tend to downplay their worth?
Maybe it’s because we connect our worth so closely to the changing situations and people around us. I’ve realized that it is extremely important to stay grounded in who I am no matter what.
Although things may change around you, and people you’ve known for years may become unrecognizable, you must not take this personally. Even when you do take it personally, don’t use it as a reason to doubt yourself, efforts, love, intelligence, appearance, faith, or anything about you.
People and things will continue to change, you don’t have to change with them. However, if you must change, make sure it leaves you stronger, in a better position, and one step closer to your truest self.
Read 5 Steps Toward Remembering Who You Are!
Be at Peace with Disconnecting
We live in a time of serious FOMO. The fear of missing out tend to hunt us. Pressuring us to jump at every opportunity, enabling every notification, and checking every bell and whistle we hear. Even the sounds we imagine we hear get our attention.
In my period of doing better, the importance of disconnecting is my highest priority. I can no longer be on call for every email, every social media ping, group message, invite, or breaking news tragedy.
The world has more peace than what is presented to us every day. I want to remember to connect to calmness. I want to be able to know that my phone being completely off, does not mean that I’m missing some anticipated emergency. Also, I want to be able to feel where my time is going.
I’m tired of my time being sucked down a rabbit hole of unlimited scrolls of pictures or videos I may like. I’d rather use that time to disconnect and reconnect to the control I have over my time and productivity.
Act Like It’s Never Too Late
People tend to place a huge emphasis on doing things by a certain age. Moving out and living along by 19. Married with kids by 30. Grounded in a career by 35.
However, when people do not accomplish their goals by whatever time frame they have in their minds, they often end up feeling like total failures. In turn, they might completely abandon the will to try or keep going at all.
Meanwhile, I’ve realized that it’s never too late to keep trying or going toward what you want. There have been things that I wanted to accomplished by certain ages but didn’t. Then, I looked up and a few more years had passed after my deadline, which added more wasted time. Knowing that I could’ve been further in my efforts if I had just started, brings me more sorrow then missing deadlines.
Now, I’d rather pursue something in my 30s, then wait another 10 or 20 years just to realize that I’m in my 40s or 50s with the same dreams, desires, energy, and means to have been started.
I much rather find the courage to start, then ride the sorrow of wasting time on the idea of time frames.
Conclusion
Although there are still things that I need to know and do better, I am certain about the lessons I have learned. There will always be signs presenting themselves to you about the kind of people you are dealing with, the situations you encounter, and the places you are in. If any of those signs are red flags, believe them.
Also, believe in yourself. No matter who or what changes, trust your ability to adapt and become stronger. If necessary, completely disconnect yourself from people and things that are draining you. Connect with calm energy. Seek out the positive interactions and information that exist.
Last but not least, know that it’s never too late to start something that you can’t get off your mind. Don’t waste any more of your time. Go get yours!
