5 Ways to Cope with Setbacks and Tragedies

Each year, we welcome the new year with open arms, declaring it to be our best year yet. With big plans and fearless goals, we embrace the year for all the potential positivity it has to offer. However, we never plan for setbacks and tragedies. The many unexpected mishaps that turn our new year into our sad reality. Forcing us to reflect, push forward, or completely throw in the towel until the next year.

As a person who has experienced countless setbacks and tragedies, I’d be the first to say that it doesn’t get any easier. There’s nothing good that comes from losing people we love, celebrities we adore, jobs we were invested in or endearing relationships. Yet, how we cope with those type of pains make us strong enough to carry on.

Here are 5 ways to cope with setbacks and tragedies that will allow you to emerge from tough times as a stronger person:

1. Go Through the Pain

When I lost my mother, I tried to go through the pain too quickly. All that ended up doing was prolonging my grieving process. Dragging out my sorrows and regrets was like another burden I had to carry on top of the tragedy.

Soon, I realized that I had to feel the pain if I wanted to heal in any way. This included a lot of crying, regrets, hatred, and tons of indescribable emotions. These were the feelings I was trying to suppress because being hurt in such an unimaginable way felt like a weakness. Not being able to control the sadness was crippling. Not to mention, I felt like I was letting my younger siblings down by not appearing to be strong. The truth is I was pretending and giving others the impression that that was okay to do.

Not feeling the pain when setbacks and tragedies occur is not normal. When you suppress what you feel, you run the risk of prolonging your grieving process. It’s okay to go through your emotions and to experience them for however long you deem necessary. Grieving is not a sign of weakness. Permit yourself to be human. By doing so, you’d be giving the people around you a safe place to do the same.

Strategies I used when I lost my mother. Click here: Sometimes I Feel Like a Motherless Child 

2. Assess the Areas Where You Need Help. Then, Get It!

Whatever has unexpectedly set you back may have added a couple more tasks to your list. You may have to plan a funeral, find a new job, get your car fixed or even quit something involuntarily. Whatever it is, you now have a whole set of new things you have to do. Whether you want to or not. So, you need to assess your new reality.

What do you have to do? Are you the right person to do it? Who has offered their help? Who might you have to get involved?

These are some questions you might want to consider before you set out to do everything yourself. You should not feel the need to add to your suffering by feeling that you have to do everything alone. Although you may be the go-to person under normal circumstances, however, when it’s your turn to feel the pain, you will need to engage other people to help you get things done.

Even if you doubt that anyone is capable of doing things the way you like, give them a chance. Take people up on their offers to help. Seek out professionals who offer services you can use. Whatever you do, don’t burden yourself by neglecting help.

3. Spend Time with Loved One

Our fast-paced lives often pull us away from the quality time we should be spending with the people we love. Each day, we trade our quality time for various priorities thinking that we have time to reschedule. But life has a weird way of showing us that we only have today.

As soon as setbacks and tragedies occur, you may think that being alone is the best way to deal with the situation. Solitude may be a temporary fix but there is a lot of love in the world that’s waiting for you. Even if you have lost the people you loved the most. There are people in the world that have a lot of love and advice to offer. These are the people you need to connect with when you are experiencing tough times.

Your loved one may be able to offer advice to you in a way that no one else can. Possibly uplifting your mood or circumstance in a significant way. At best, your loved ones will be able to help you plan for your comeback and comfort you during your time of need.

If you decide to connect with people outside of your friends and family, they may be of value as well. They may be able to connect you to new opportunities or support you by identifying with your particular hardship. Whoever you find time to confide in, know that you are not alone. Therefore, spend time with people who can help you build back up your strength.

4. Seek Counseling

The last thing that you might want to do is talk to a stranger when you experience a setback or tragedy. However, don’t think of seeking counseling as confiding in a stranger. Instead, think of counseling as a way to get an unbiased perspective of how you should address your issues. It’s also a way to help you process your grief.

If you are experiencing something that is taking a toll on you and the people you love, counseling is definitely for you. When our loved ones are experiencing tough times as well, we may not be able to utilize them as an outlet. However, by seeking counseling, you can express yourself freely. That kind of freedom can uplift your mood and clear your mind.

No need to filter your comments, or hold back any remarks when you attend counseling. You can also attend as often as you need to go. This allows you to grieve and process whatever you are going through for as long as you’d like. There’s no pressure associated with going to counseling. And during tough times, you do not need to be under in additional stress anyway.

Click Here: The Most Valuable Lessons I Learned From Seeking Counseling

5. Set Boundaries

When you are experiencing setbacks or tragedies, you may be rushed with support once people find out. This includes unannounced pop-ups, tons of questions, food deliveries, and offers to help. All of this can be overwhelming. Especially, if you are still trying to process what has transpired.

Although, it is nice to have people readily available to help, don’t stress yourself out trying to keep up with everything coming your way. Set some boundaries. Let people know that you will get back to them at your earliest convenience. Turn down offers if they conflict with your plans. Ask people to leave if they disrupt your peace. Whatever the situation may be, have boundaries.

The worst thing to do during a setback or tragedy is to not have any boundaries. Allowing people to come into your life at this time, however they want, may increase your level of stress. So don’t bottle anything up. Give yourself room to process your current situation by respectfully making your boundaries clear.

*Bonus*

Rest

Resting is probably one of the best things you can do when you experience something devastating. After long nights of crying, staying awake for multiple days, and letting emotions build-up, you need to rest. Through rest, you regain your energy so that you can get through your difficult times. Without energy, you risk prolonging your grieving process or setback period.

To ensure that you are getting the proper rest you need, first, try sleeping. Sleeping energizes your body and helps to clear your mind. Enough sleep can give you fresh ideas, essentially helping you to process decisions faster.

In addition to sleep, try relaxing. Go get a massage. Take a walk. Sit in silence. Try anything that will allow your mind and body to relax. Through relaxation, you can get the proper amount of rest as well. This may take your mind off the unsettling situations for a while. Whatever you decide, find something that works for you and give you mind, body, and soul the rest it needs.

Conclusion

Although the new year brings forth positive energy and abundant opportunities, it still promises us our share of setbacks or tragedies. What we experience may be temporary. However, some of us may have to deal with the pain forever. This is why it is important to have coping strategies. We have to be able to manage our tough times so that we can continue to live our lives as peacefully as possible.

How we cope during tough times depends upon our circumstances. Yet, these strategies can assist you in building personalized plans, that can help you overcome your situation.

So go through the pain. Process the setbacks or tragedies for as long as you need to. Evaluate the areas you need help in, then seek people or systems that can help you. These people may be your loved ones, so connect with them if you can. You can even seek counseling if you need a safe place to express yourself. Set boundaries as well. Because everything and everyone will be coming your way. But if you decide that you don’t want to do any of these things, at least get some rest.

What’s the best way to cope with setbacks and tragedies?