Sometimes I Feel Like a Motherless Child
On our journeys through womanhood, we often refer to the lessons taught to us by our mothers. The women who sacrificed to bring us into this world.
Fighting to nurture us into our best selves by any means necessary. Yet, some of our mothers were fighting their own battles in the process of preparing us for wars we didn’t know were coming.
Some of our mothers were able to transcend their battles. While others were consumed by the bruises sustained during their fights.
However gritty and treacherous these battles may have been, unfortunately, a lot of our mothers didn’t successfully overcome all their battles.
My mother was one of those women.
Her sacrifices and struggles propelled me into my battles. Ready or not.
Dragging along the unfinished book of drafted pages my mother left behind. I’m sure if she had more time there would be edits, deleted scenes, and a livelier tale of triumph.
Nonetheless, her scripts, advice, and leadership are woven into my journey.
I was fortunate enough to have my mother in my life for 16 years. More than enough time to learn countless lessons.
However, the words “enough time” shouldn’t exist in a mother-daughter relationship. For there could never be enough time to learn all the lessons of womanhood.
On my quest, sometimes I feel like a motherless child. The feelings are rooted in the missed opportunities to discuss strategies with my mother about battles I would face.
Some battles I’m still clueless about. However, I have won some and lost others.
Battles lost on the relationship field. Wars won on the maternity ward. Battles lost to the years of terrible twos. Wars won in the art of patience.
Battles lost to peers who showed up to fight with years of practice, a formidable support system, and weapons for psychological, educational, and social destruction.
Wars won by using my resources to make it to every level data counted me out.
The cycle of wins and losses, still leave me baffled. Feeling that I had enough time with my mother to win all battles. Yet, feeling that I haven’t had enough time with her to win anymore.
If you find yourself feeling like a motherless child sometimes, here are a few things that you could try that have helped me.
Find other women you respect and take from their journeys.
There are so many women out there that have endured and won battles. The scars they have sustained and the lessons they have learned can help you heal and stay encouraged.
Find those women and weave their advice into your story.
Ask for help.
The beauty in fighting is that you don’t have to do it alone. It’s okay to ask for help.
Countries don’t fight wars with one person and neither should you.
Find people to help you overcome the struggles you are facing. There is a community of people out there waiting to help you win.
Share what you know with other women.
You may not know it yet but your story has value. The lessons you have learned and the pain you have endured can save other women years of grief.
Make sure you use your story to heal other women. There are aspects of your story that can shed light on problems other women could not see a way through.
Share your story whenever you have the courage and the opportunity to do so. You never know who could find peace and healing through your journey.
Know that you were built to win some battles and lose some.
Save yourself the trouble of thinking you were created to just win. You were created for so much more.
You were created to endure, learn, fall back, spring forward, overcome, fail and so much more.
Do not get caught up in winning everything. Know that there are valuable lessons to be learned from taking L’s.
Pay homage to your mother.
No matter the circumstances of you all’s history, at some point you were a part of one of your mother’s battles.
Maybe she succeeded and continue to succeed in instilling greatness in you. Maybe she fell short of providing you with the weapons you needed to carry-on.
Whatever the case may be, respect the fact that your mother at least fought for you at some point in her life. Whether that was fighting morning sickness while you were in the womb. Placing a hold on her dreams. Or simply going against society’s views.
At some point, you were the reason your mother had to willingly or involuntarily fight. Respect your mother’s fight.
Respect the women who are pouring into you.
While no one can ever replace your mother, there are plenty of nurturing women out there who want to see you win. Respect the lessons and peace they bring to you.
These women understand the importance of the village it takes to develop a woman. They know how hard the journey of womanhood can be.
That’s why they continue to uplift you as if you were their child.
Feeling like a motherless child may be a feeling that comes and goes. This feeling may even leave you feeling lost and confused. Despite the void you may feel, remember that there is power in your story.
Enough power to get you through to any goal that you put your mind to. You are your mother’s child. For better or worst.
Take lessons from her journey. Edit or delete the lessons that don’t resonate.
Whatever you choose, remember that you are not alone. You are a child of a loving community of women. Find them. love them. Cherish them.
